You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
