oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
