I wish I could teleport
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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