brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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