my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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