Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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