Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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