She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
