And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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