Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
