I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
