I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
