her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
