You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
