You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize