I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
