So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
