What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
