yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
