i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
