She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
