And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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