Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
