I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
