I'm so fucking centered right now
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's like heaven, but drunker
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
