I wannas sexs uuuuu
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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