bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize