Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize