look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There r osticjed everywhere
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
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I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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