We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It was confusing and full of hummus
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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