yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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