i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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