The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
