It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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