So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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