I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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