I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
