she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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