my mouth tastes like poor choices
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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