He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
