Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she smelled like a LAN party
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
