You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
