drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There r osticjed everywhere
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
