69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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