At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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