Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
