I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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