we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
