How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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