He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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