Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
