i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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