Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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