While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
