why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
