You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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