i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's blow job season.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
