so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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