another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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