TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
