i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
