new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
