Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
