On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
