pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
